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Sunday, January 26, 2014

The Singles Survey--Part 3

If you haven’t yet checked out the first two posts of the Singles Survey, please go ahead and read them here and here. They provide the background for today’s revealing quotations.

Several of the women share their longings, deep feelings, and struggles. Mostly, they’re sharing how they deal with singleness. I believe you’ll be challenged and inspired by their godly insights and attitudes.

Photo by: Sura Nualpradid

"God’s Word has become more precious to me and prayer has been my lifeline. Slowly I am beginning to see and believe that God knew that my singleness was His best way to teach me many lessons that I need learn and His way of drawing me closer to Himself." 

"Trust God, knowing that he is aware and in control of your status."
“I’m not unsatisfied with my time as a single. I have been able to accomplish many things through God and for the Lord. If God wants me to be single for the rest of my life, I know that He will give me everything I need in order to live a happy life in His grace.“
"My biggest battle is with discouragement about my singleness. Before I surrendered everything to God, I allowed bitterness to control my life for about six months. It's a daily battle, and sometimes a difficult battle. I've learned that I have to recognize whose voice I'm listening to. The flesh tells me, ‘It's not fair. I've served/am serving God. He should give me a husband.’ The Spirit reminds me that salvation in itself is a gift from God that I don't deserve. The Spirit reminds me that joy is found in serving Christ. I have to daily choose which voice I'm going to listen to. I'm blessed to be able to serve God."   

"I have found the greatest joy in having a right relationship with God. When I'm walking with God and doing His will, there is joy. It's not in marriage. Joy is found in Christ! Every joy I have here on earth is temporal. Only in heaven will there be eternal joy."
"I know that I want only to be where He puts me, doing what He gives me to do.  Sometimes I have wished for a companion, but decided that if the Lord wanted a man in my life, He would so provide.  He has not—and I am content."  

"What keeps the discouragement away? Grace. I believe it takes a certain grace from God to be married and raise children. At the same time, single people aren't without grace. They have a certain grace from God to be single. I believe Paul was very confident in that. Every time someone tries to discourage me in ministry due to singleness, God has sent someone or something from His Word to lift me up. EVERY TIME. Sometimes I resist and don't like to see it coming. For some reason we like our pity parties at times. But that doesn't mean it isn't there. I like to compare Paul's ministry with Peter's. Most of this is speculation, but while both men had tremendous ministries where God placed them, Paul's reached out to so many more people. Peter was a local guy, serving in his church—he had a family. Paul did not. Paul had the freedom to travel and go wherever and whenever The Lord led him. A freedom I speculate Peter never felt. They both had a different grace for what God had given them in life."
"I may be here for a season or the rest of my life, but I don't want to feel as though my life is on hold until I'm married. I want to live now. I don't want to try to be in the right place, doing the right thing, with the right attitude, so I can meet the right guy. I just want to be in the right place, doing the right thing, with the right attitude so I can be happy and content in Christ."  

"Marriage is supposed to be a picture of our relationship with Christ, so which is better: the picture or the real thing? If I'm not satisfied with the real thing, I'm not going to be satisfied with the picture. If God is not satisfying then I certainly won't be satisfied with a man. I have to continually trust Christ to know what's best for me. I have to continually seek Him as my hope and joy." 
"I want to get married, but if I have put my hope and joy in that as a possibility for my future, that is a sin. God should be my hope and joy. He is the greatest treasure. About a year or two ago I was really down. I wasn't content. I wanted so badly to be married and be a mother. But I also knew if I wasn't content single, I wouldn't be content married and that made me even more depressed. Until I realized what satisfies. What is the source of joy and hope and happiness? I knew Christ was, but I had to experience Him more deeply for myself. Good Christian books, sermons, songs, and verses helped me and continue to help me. Talking with Him and seeing him answer my prayers especially my prayers to conquer sins and deficiencies in my heart and life made me realize I could live with out a man but I cannot live with out my Savior. It's not a once and done thing. I'm still learning how to treasure Him. He has become my hope and joy. And that can be true for anyone married or single, mother or childless, man, woman, boy, or girl."
“Now, with the passage of time, I miss having a mate, a boyfriend who takes care of me, hugs me, and would be my husband . . . . But I am learning that to put anyone in my life ahead of God is an error, because we hope for much more than what any man could give. For life to have real meaning, to be comfortable with one’s self and to feel loved, I have to have God as the foundation—the first in everything. If not, nothing is going to work well, because I would end up with the Lord out of my life.”

We are complete in Christ. Sometimes I would like to wear a T-shirt with this written on it, so that people would stop trying to find me a husband. (smiley face) I believe the Lord has a place for everyone, a time for everything. Our identity is not in our marital status, but in our being in Christ. I believe that the best way that the church can help its single women is not to identify them as singles, but instead as just another Christian. And yes, that they pray for us.” (Emphasis added by the editor.)

"It (loneliness) is something that is always there, even when I’m thrilled with life. It can drain me of motivation if I am not careful to keep focused on what I need to be doing and on all I have in my God. Sometimes when I see something beautiful I get lonely for someone to share it with—it helps to remember that my God is with me and loves it when I share these small things with Him and thank Him for sending me another little token of His love for me. Focusing on the reality of His Person and His Presence helps a lot." 

"Yup, I’m single! YES!!! I DO want to get married!!! No!!! I’m not that desperate . . . right now . . . and pray to God I never will be!  Sometimes I just want to scream!—then, sometimes I just want to cry . . . then I end up laughing—it’s all so crazy, so normal, so awful, so hilarious, so painful, but so . . . well with God, I can truly say, fulfilling. Because true fulfillment can be realized even while these unfulfilled longings torment my being—the perspective of eternity soothes the ache, it is a longing that if unfulfilled, will someday pass away, while the longing of my soul for God will never pass. That is the most important longing, the one I need to seek have fulfilled above all else—and in a strange way, if I allow my God to fulfill that longing, the other little thorn does not ache so bad. The Balm of Gilead soothes and heals. The Heavenly Father holds me tenderly in His strong, capable arms—He loves me; I am safe."


Have you found these quotes inspiring? Challenging? Do they cause you to reevaluate? Have they helped you in any way? Please comment—not for me, but for the ladies who shared their very personal thoughts with you.

There are two more posts to come. I think you’ll find them interesting.


  1. Amen! Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts from other single ladies. I know that these words were born of many lonely days and nights and struggles and temptations and the tender grace of God behind it all. It is so encouraging to my heart to hear echoes of the same answers that I have found in Christ in my singleness. He is so good, so faithful, so true, and He truly meets our deepest human needs. Not that those needs ever completely go away, but they somehow just don't seem as important in comparison to what we find in Him in the midst of our need. There is gain in every loss when we understand the fullness of Christ Jesus! That is true contentment; knowing what it is to suffer need and yet be filled. This was truly a blessing to read this evening; thank you.

    1. Thank you, Naomi. I am so glad you found some kindred thoughts here. I was very inspired by these lovely ladies who have found their joy in Christ. Bless you!

  2. Ha sido interesante ver que todas nos sentimos de la misma manera, y a la vez deseamos las misma cosa. Que el Señor nos use, nos de un camino a seguir para servirle en lo que a Él le parezca que podemos hacer mejor.
    Si que ha sido de beneficio participar en esto.

    1. Thank you, Tere, for your participation. I believe the Lord is using this in many lives. God bless!


Please share your thoughts.